Patterns my mind forms

Today I made my mother cry, endless times hurt father
He doesn’t show, so I never actually knew
Gone are the days, heart wanted to share
Keeps shut now, see a vast difference in thought process
Stranded at the same place, for where I rose years ago
Things , relations, people…nothing matters this very moment
Absolutely no-where that I want to go, be at, reach out for
The phase of life when happiness was more than words, long lost
Isolated me, draining out all emotions, senses, memory
Not that I am regretting not holding onto it
Still could have lasted some more days, how I wish
Undergoing transition, adjusting, adapting, a major setback
Dreaming with open eyes, thinking without thinking
Locked away are the happy days of childhood, teenage
No more craving for freedom, yet dependency nauseate me
Clueless about life, no aims, no motivation, just tiredness
Day after day, everyday trust slackens, vision blackens
Am I religious, or anywhere near being spiritual?
Do I believe in stars?
Was I assigned some mission at the time of birth?
Am I to improve or destroy this world?
Books always speak of living life better, never seen
Any which tells me how to die in peace!
Streams, hills, children, birds, sky,music they restore
Calmness of mind, even though heart beats empty
God being our excuse, we blame it all on him
No wall can prevent words of songs reaching my ears
No barrier can stop me from reaching where I am to
Déjavu…mirage….!!!My life…
The exists no force that can bound soul to my body

I have to leave, yet another wasted being!!

Things i believe in..

Look at me while I stand here, myriad of people surround me
People arrive, hail loved ones, with time they all flee
A little girl kisses her mom goodbye, daddy takes her hand
They board the train;do not know where are they headed
A mother gets to see her son after ages, tears, hugs, happiness
A husband is leaving for six months, he prefers his wife
Being at home while he reaches his seat, for he misses her already

I sense so much love around me, yet feel nothing
A seizure of hollowness, I am in no man’s land
Stepped out of one, not quite ready to enter another
And now that I am here, my existence feels worthless
Every relation i was tied in, meaningless, I can
See bad side of everyone, do I expect someone to care
I want to be left alone; monotonous life has taken its toll


Strikes me there is no actual freedom in real sense
Why can’t I go shopping naked? I do not harm anybody
Work is for welfare, we succeed when we make
An impact! Dogs, we call them our best companions
They guard, they do not criticize, they oblige
Day they start talking, we would begin searching for
Another best friend!!!

We stand atop hierarchy of organisms, change is the way
Of life, why don’t we prick a thorn into our skin?
With our misdeeds we rot each passing second, why
Don’t we leave our dead body to be eaten by vultures?
We come and leave this world empty handed, but
I think we do come with and take something after all
Tears!!!

Now I sit and wait for nobody, nothing, a fan overhead
Wonder if the bench I rest on, how many times it did
Wish to relax, go sightseeing and rejuvenate?
Cheerful and amazed I recall primary science lessons
Living and non-living things co-exist

Suddenly, I want to lead life of a villager, do farming
Nurse my crops, watch them grow, harvest
And when I get monetary returns for the same
This very betrayal doesnt even cross my mind
So selfish i could be that i struck a dagger right across
The heart, that very life form looked up to me for everything!

Sea,hills,beaches,orchids,snow clad peaks,breeze,rain
Sunrise,moon.birds,forests,stones,lands,horizon,brooks
Rivers,caves,lagoons,stalagmites,lava,soil,deserts
They exist even before we did, but how much do they
Respect and want me to be present along their side?

I hear some familiar voices at last, all my thoughts
Draw off out almost at once, they found me again! I came here
For I find peace at noisy places now, but time’s up.
That asylum drained the feelings out of me!
So. I'll be right back!